Feline tai chi master Kat Tai-Dai Mau’s good friend Belinda Calico demonstrates grooming her human.
Belinda says, “Cats, you should be aware that your humans don’t really understand grooming at all, as well as being handicapped by poorly evolved tongues. Sometimes, you just have to hold them down and bathe them yourself, as if they were helpless kittens, which, basically, they are, except for their useful ability to open tuna cans. It’s a lot of trouble, but if you love your humans, you will do this for them, because, if you don’t, they will be forced to go into the torture chamber they call the shower, where they are pelted with hard water from a garden hose mounted on the wall until they are dripping wet. It is awful, just awful. Unspeakable, really.”
T. Allen Culpepper